"Go sell crazy somewhere else; we're all stocked up here." – As Good As It Gets - Melvin (Jack Nicholson)

     Garbage - There is no garbage pick-up in the campos (countryside) or in smaller towns in Uruguay.  
You take your garbage bag and go drive until you find a public container.  The containers looked like a treasure chest, when we first visited Uruguay!
     If you have a house on the highway or main road, you will usually have some kind of a wooden bin to hold the garbage.  If you are like us (not on a main road), you just take your garbage and either sneak it in someone else's bin or take it to one of a very few nearby drop-off spots.   You learn very quickly not to overfill the bag or LEAKAGE!!
     I felt like a CRIMINAL the first time I put our garbage in someone else's bin.  The garbage fairies seem to come and haul it away in a day or two.  The hardest thing is remembering to take it with you when you leave home.  Who wants to do that?
     Girls - I saw a group of young ladies by the side of the road on the way to town one day. There is one spot under some giant eucalyptus trees where they always stand.  I thought they were pretty girls (however dressed a little strange) waiting for a bus.  I did notice there was no bus stop there.  Nope, I quickly learned they were waiting for something else, it turns out.  Since I had seen them so often, I asked our neighbor about them.  They are CALL girls - and I am not talking cell phone calls... They are even out there in the MORNINGS.
     Prostitution is not against the law in Uruguay unless you are a minor.  It is regulated with education on sexual health, etc.  According to regulations - prostitution must be performed in brothels (in Uruguay they are called  “whiskerias”.  And all this time, I thought the Whiskeria we pass on the way to our house was a bar! 
     Before I knew what a whiskeria really was, I once I took the bus to Montevideo by myself.  Upon returning home, I needed to tell the driver to let me out at the nearest bus stop to our home.  As it is located across the highway from the Whiskeria, I thought that would be the best landmark to tell the driver.  So I shouted out, "Necesito salir en Whiskeria".  (I need to get out at the Whiskeria.)  The entire busload of people fell out laughing; from my accent, they understood I didn't know what a Whiskeria really was.  The driver let me out and I swear, everyone on the bus was hanging out of the window, watching to see where I went.  When I ran across the highway to get into the truck with my waiting husband, they all cheered.  Bets were probably placed on where I was going!   
     Gasoline - I dreaded the filling up the truck's gas tank for first time in Uruguay.  I postponed doing so until I was running on fumes.  I was postponing this as long as possible, because I wasn't exactly sure of the procedure.  (It's the same crazy theory of why I don't go to Sonic or any complicated drive-through in the States.  Go figure...
     It turned out to be much easier than in the U.S.  There is no self-serve for gas here; it is like the U.S. in the 1960's and early 70's.  Attendants ask how much NAFTA (the word for gasoline in Uruguay) you want.  They pump the gas, clean the front (and back!) windshields, and  take your payment.  (You always tip them nicely.) I didn't even get out of the car.  All that dread and worry for nothing!

"We do not follow maps to buried treasure and X never, ever marks the spot." - The Last Crusade - Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford)

     The 4th outing I took driving the truck in Uruguay was interesting, to say the least.  It was terrifying driving a stick shift with all the motorcycles and the roundabouts.  I thought it would be easy on a Sunday morning and I would practice using the GPS we have, to ensure I wouldn't get lost.  WRONG!  
     I was simply going to a department store about 30 minutes away and I did know the way.  However, a bit nervous, I punched "Devoto" (the name of the store) into the GPS unit and dutifully followed Miss GPS lady's instructions.  After awhile, I realized that Miss GPS was taking me on a route that was very different, but I thought, "OK, I'll learn a new way!"
     Oh no, she took me to a Devoto store in an entirely different town in the opposite direction. By the time I realized this, I was too far into it to stop.  The problem came with a major detour, accompanied by many policemen.  I detoured and this really threw Miss GPS for a loop.  She took me down dirt roads, through little residential streets, and through at least 30 turns.  FINALLY, I ended up in the Devoto parking lot in the town of Piriapolis, not Punta del Este, as I wanted.  
     Still dizzy from all the detours and turns, I stumbled into the store for yet another adventure. I saw a bin of unpackaged bed sheets.  They were perfect to line the curtains I was sewing back at our house.  As I looked at the price sign on the bin, I realized that the prices was by weight - per kilogram.  I had never seen that before (and I have never seen it since).  There was a scale nearby, but no one to work it.  So, being resourceful, I went to the produce department with my sheet and politely asked the young man there to weigh it for me. (Side note: in nearly every supermarket, there is a person who must weigh your produce before you buy it.)  He nearly doubled over he was laughing so hard.  He (between giggles) pointed me back in the direction of the linen department.  As I walked away, I heard him still laughing - guess I made his day!   I finally found someone to weigh my sheets ($8.00) and made my way back to the truck.  
     Since I had no idea how to get home, I was again at the mercy of Miss GPS.  This time, she took me on a very scenic route down the beach - with beautiful views of the Atlantic.  Just as I was smiling and beginning to like her, she demanded that I turn right and turn left.  This would have been fine, except she guided me directly into a Cowboy (Gaucho) parade with at least 50 people dressed in historic costumes on horseback.  That was exciting for about 4 minutes, until I realized I would be stuck following them and waving to those on the sidelines for the next hour, if I didn't find another route on my own.  Pooh on you, Miss GPS. I made lots of turns, all with her screeching at me to go back, turn around, etc.  Finally I made it to a spot of her liking and she calmed down enough to give me directions back home.  What a Sunday drive!

"Since when can weathermen predict the weather, let alone the future?" - Back to the Future - Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox)

     We THOUGHT we were rejoining technology by getting a TV and a Direct TV satellite dish. Unfortunately, for the first 2 weeks all we had was black and white TV - even the American channels. Seems like we've gone back to the early 1960's!  I'm hoping it's the weather.
     Color is now working on the TV.  We only get a few channels in English.  Oddly enough, the very first movie I watched was Back to the Future.  So appropriate!  When Marty Fly goes back to the 50's from 1984 to see his hometown, the first two things he sees are still in action here in Uruguay.  He sees a gas station where the attendants pump the gas for customers and a car driving with a loudspeaker on top making announcements.   Yep, I see this every day!

"Holy Mackerel!" - Arsenic and Old Lace - Mortimer Brewster (Cary Grant)

     We just came back from the Sunday Mercado (Market) in Maldonado.  It's a combo farmer's market and flea market.  They sell everything from old shoes and live chickens to nearly every fruit and vegetable imaginable!  We bought avocados the size of grapefruits and lemons the size of oranges.  The celery bunch we bought is so big, I had to struggle to find a spot in the refrigerator and the cabbage is as big as a basketball!  

​     Our construction site is one big mud hole today after the huge rains we had Friday night and all day yesterday.  Thundershirts were definitely in order for our two scaredy-cat Border Collies yesterday, and the dogs mainly slept.  We had another round of thunder like I've never heard late yesterday afternoon.  This sent Gracie, Thundershirt and all, up onto our bed with her head buried under the covers.  Today is beautiful though; it will be 64 degrees and sunny.  

     Early on, experienced several firsts for Uruguayan life.  One was my first Uruguayan SNAKE encounter.  I was picking up construction debris from around the house and bent over to see a red, yellow, and black snake hissing only a few centimeters from my face and a few meters from the dogs.  Two of the construction workers were here, so I began to run away and scream, "SNAKE!"  After a minute of screaming, I realized my screams were in English.  
     Fortunately, Esteban understood some English and started yelling, "SERPIENTE!"  We stood there staring at each other, yelling back and forth for awhile, then took off for the back of the house. Pepe, the other worker, ran along with us, carrying a concrete block.  I barely had time to wonder why, but was too panicked to question.  The serpentina was laying there, waiting for us.  I can never remember little rhyme for colors of poisonous snakes.
     Apparently, there is is a similar rhyme in Spanish about yellow on black etc., as well. Esteban and Pepe couldn't remember the Spanish version and I couldn't remember the English one.  What a crew we were!  We decided that a snake is a snake (o una serpiente es una serpiente), so Esteban threw the concrete block at it.  Concrete travels slowly and snakes quickly; the result was a snake underneath the house!    
     Minutes later, our builder arrived and after our description of the serpiente, informed us that it was not poisonous. Hmmm... a snake is a snake.
     Another first - my first tormenta (storm) in Uruguay.  We awoke during the night to torrential rain, fog, and very high winds.  Power was out for most of the morning, but for some reason - the Internet is worked beautifully, for the first time.  Go figure...  Thank goodness for our generator - hot coffee. 
     Winds were howling with 45 mph gusts, dogs were sleeping (thank goodness), and the wood stove was keeping our little casita toasty warm.  All was dry inside, so hopefully the roof holds.  At one point I looked out the window to see the neighbor's four horses running across our land like they were being chased.  Guess the wind spooked them - I know it has me spooked.